Jaclyn Amato
March 26, 2025
My husband, John and I are the parents of 3 boys. They are very active, boisterous boys and we got to the point we needed to yell at them just to get their attention. We knew there had to be a better way, and one of our pastor’s wives told us about the Growing Kids God’s Way parenting class. She gave us her old material, and a friend and I jumped around, watching the tapes that interested us. Frustrated when we didn’t get anywhere, we learned you could take the class via Zoom and both my friend and her husband and John and I got into the class led by Joey and Carla Link. It didn’t take long before we saw the value of taking the class with great leaders who understood the lessons presented and could answer all the questions presented to them each week.
When the concept of getting our kids to obey us the first-time instead of repeating ourselves over and over again was presented to us, we weren’t sure it would work, but we were willing to give it a try. We learned to start small with introducing the expectation that our kids verbally respond and come to us immediately each time we called their name. It was a game-changer for our family! Teaching our children to consistently respond to us in this way, helped create an atmosphere of respect, where they were much more receptive to receiving & following instructions. It truly set the stage for us to see obedience from our children in so many areas. What a change!
When I was DEEP in the struggle of trying to parent through constant defiance and fits, I could not understand how focusing on the first step of first-time obedience would be productive. But then I saw that when my children responded, “Yes, mom, I’m coming” and then physically came to me when I called their name, they were showing me respect before I ever even gave an instruction. Their hearts were soft and they were ready to listen and obey what I asked them to do. Calling their name became the pause button that I needed to help them stop and change course when their behavior was heading in the wrong direction.
The first steps to get started is to introduce the concept of obeying the first time – find a calm, family time and explain the idea to your children. Tell them that each time you call their name, you want them to verbally say, “Yes, (mom or dad), I’m coming” and then come to you without delay. Then, when you tell them what to do, they should say, “Yes, (mom or dad), I’ll be happy to.”
After you tell your kids to come to the call of their name immediately, role play with them, practicing what they are to do. Give them time to practice this concept. Send them all over the house to play with different things and then call their name and have them respond correctly. When they get to you, tell them to do simple, fun things like give you a hug or get a small treat, and have them respond correctly again. If they are having trouble understanding, have mom or dad pretend to be the child and show them what it looks like. When you take your practice outside the house, ask them something like, “What will you do when I call your name during our time at the park today?” They should be able to tell you what they will say and do. Then give them multiple opportunities to practice while you are there.
Next, it’s time to start giving more practical, every day instructions after they come to you. Don’t forget to praise them when they do come, and if they don’t, it is time for consequences. For more information on those critical steps, listen to the Mom’s Notes – “Understanding First-Time Obedience” by Joey and Carla Link. The Mom’s Notes are practical and share how to put the same principle into practice for different age kids. They are wonderful!
“Children, obey the Lord in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
Colossians 3:20
Have you listened to the Mom’s Notes presentation Jaclyn talked about?
“Understanding First-Time Obedience”
This Mom’s Notes session has helped thousands of parents around the world learn how to get their kids to obey them without arguing, and with no whining or complaining. Not only that, but your kids will learn how to do the tasks you tell them to do the way they are supposed to be done.
Sound too good to be true? This Mom’s Notes session provides helpful age-appropriate guidelines for parents on how to work with their kids so they understand what obedience looks like and why it needs to be a big deal for them to be obedient to you. It also covers the first steps in learning to do what others with authority roles in their lives tell or ask them to do.
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