What Authority Is

Joey and Carla Link

January 15, 2025

“Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”

According to this verse, God expects children to obey. He doesn’t hope they will or keep His fingers crossed. He expects it, no ifs or buts about it. Not only does He expect children to obey, He goes on to say, just in case anyone thinks this is unfair, that this is right. How do children learn to obey? This verse says God gave every child parents to teach him/her what authority is because authority is someone or something (like government) that has the right to tell people what to do.

How do you use authority in your child’s life? 

1.     Authority is not equality. People in positions of authority are not your peers. This is why they have titles such as boss, policeman, teacher, coach, and parent. To be an effective parent means your child is not your equal or your friend. You are certainly friendly, but your kids are not on a peer level with you, and you need to stop treating them like they are.

2.     Authority requires obedience. The person with ultimate authority in the home (we hope and pray this is you) has the final say in decision making. Without the willingness to obey, authority is useless.

3.     Authority needs to be balanced. Authority needs to be balanced with love, kindness, and compassion. Without these, the one in authority becomes a harsh, legalistic dictator and will never be loved and respected in return.

4.     Authority teaches. Teachers share what they know, they help their students understand the “why”and “how” of the topic at hand (age-appropriate). A toddler won’t understand why he has to say “please” when he wants something because he doesn’t know what being polite means, but he can still be taught to say (or sign) it. An older child will comprehend why you need to be polite and that saying “please” is how you can be polite. 

5.     Authority trains. When you train you teach, but you also guide and direct those under you, using encouragement, praise and discipline when necessary. Discipline motivates a child to use the teaching you have given him wisely.

Most people looking for help with their parenting want to know how to get their kids to behave. We’ve written a book with that title! “Why Can’t I Get My Kids to Behave?”