We’re all about to sit around the table with family and friends as the Thanksgiving season is upon us. It is good to sit around a wonderful meal and share what we are thankful for. Most of us are thankful for the presence of those in our lives who we love and who love us and that should be shared with one another.
Creating a “spirit of positivity” was something we often heard by both parties as something that needed to be achieved in our country in the recent campaign for the President of the United States. When listening to the news, we often thought, “What happened to the spirit of positivity?”
There is a way to create positivity in one’s life, and that is to build a lifestyle of thankfulness and gratitude in one’s heart and mind. No one needs a government official to mandate we do that.
But how often do I take time to thank God for the little things in my life that are a blessing? I (Carla) was desperately looking for my wedding band a couple weeks ago and was distraught I couldn’t find it. After spending a few days looking for it, I prayed about it. Why, oh why do we leave praying for our last resort instead of our first? I often do because I think I should be able to accomplish the task on my own without bothering God with it.
It wasn’t too long after that prayer that I found it when I wasn’t even looking, almost exactly where it was supposed to be. Since then, I have been making a conscious effort to ask God first for His help and thank Him when I accomplish what I am doing.
That’s what being thankful is. It’s an “expression of appreciation for something another person has done for you. It’s more about the act itself (and how you feel about it) than the person doing the act.”
It is a feeling that comes and goes away quickly. I know I have thought at times, “I don’t think my kids remember all the time we gave them when they needed us.” Without making an intentional effort to do so, they probably don’t. Their need passed and they have moved on. It is that way with all of us. And I needed to examine why I had that thought in the first place.
What’s being grateful then?
People think being thankful and being grateful are the same thing, but they aren’t. Being grateful is a “sense of thankfulness that comes from a feeling within, rather than an automatic response to a kind gesture.” Being grateful can be directed at not only people you appreciate but things that you feel have been of great assistance in your life, like “I am grateful my car runs without giving me any problems.” This is a deep-seated awareness of something that is a continual blessing in your life, rather than a one-time act of being nice.
I am thankful for the advice my mom gave me on how to potty train my kids. I am grateful that she always made time for me whenever I needed to talk or vent and listened patiently to whatever I had to say. This feeling comes from a deep place within my heart.
Gratitude is much more memorable than thankfulness. It lasts a long time. When you feel gratitude, you are remembering shared experiences, love, commitment and faithfulness with special people in your life. For those who focus on gratitude regularly, it becomes a way of life, a state of being and best of all, this is what makes us content.
Gratitude goes beyond thankfulness, although that is often the first step that grows with time into a much deeper feeling. Often, being grateful makes you willing to sacrifice time or money and go the “extra mile” even when no one is requiring this of you. It’s something you just do.
It’s not wrong to be thankful and express it. Random acts of kindness, as well as intentional acts of kindness, occur every day, and it’s important to express our thankfulness for it. And not just because we tell our kids it is the nice/kind thing to do. Rather, thanking people for kind gestures creates a positive feeling within us and can, with time, foster true gratitude for people in our lives.
Try making gratitude something you focus on and practice in a deliberate way, whether it is expressed outwardly or felt inwardly. It will change you and the relationships in your life for the better! This Thanksgiving, why not record the football games and spend some time around the table, especially if you have older kids, and talk about what being thankful and being grateful are, and have everyone make a list of 3 things and people in their lives they are truly grateful for, then put one name a week on their calendars to tell them so.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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