Joey and Carla Link
November 13, 2024
In today’s culture, “It’s all about me” is truly the mantra of most you meet. You can’t turn on the TV without hearing commercials touting or celebrities talking about self-care. Now we are in total agreement that you need to take care of yourself. When our bodies are hurting, they are telling us something is wrong so we go see a doctor to find out what that “something” is. That’s self-care. When it is cold outside, you bundle up before you leave the house with a warm coat, gloves, a scarf and hat. That’s self-care.
When you are burning the candle at both ends and you tell yourself it won’t hurt not to get your to-do list done for one day and instead you curl up with a good book for the afternoon, that’s self-care.
I (Carla) like to watch the popular television show, “The Voice”. I can’t tell you how many contestants in their mid-twenties said they quit their jobs to do music full-time, which meant singing in any bar that would take them night after night. How is that self-care? That sounds more like the “me, me, me,” lifestyle of today’s young adults.
“It’s all about God” is supposed to be the mantra of Christians. There isn’t room for God in the “me, me, me” philosophy of life, which is all about pleasing self.
Where does this mindset start? It starts at home when kids are growing up. Do you let your kids get away with “It’s all about me” because it is easier to give in than to put up with their arguments or fits? We had kids visiting this afternoon and the youngest, at 5 yrs. old thought he should get to choose whatever he and his older siblings did. His mom called him to her and said, “It is not always about you. Your brother gets to choose.” Hooray for this mom! One of the ways to work with a “me, me, me” child is to take away his/her choices. When you do this, your kids are no longer in control.
An effective way to do this is to put together a routine. With a routine, Mom chooses what each of her kids gets to do and when. Your oldest sibling has 20 minutes in his routine to play with his youngest brother and they are playing with his trains today. Then the oldest plays with his younger sister who is the middle child for 30 minutes. Mom has them play on the trampoline outside. The next 30 minutes the oldest gets time to him/herself and the next 30 they all play together under Mom’s supervision and she decides they are going on a nature walk. That’s 2 hours of time! We share a lot more information on how to blend the routines of all family members together in the Mom’s Notes presentation “Structuring Your Child’s Day, Pt 1” and “Structuring Your Child’s Day, Pt 2”.
Two of the temperaments are all about “me”, and those are the Choleric and Melancholy temperaments. If you have kids with one or both of these as their primary temperament or their temperament blend, getting them to think of someone other than themselves is going to be an uphill battle. Should you as their parents climb it? Absolutely. Why? Because we are told throughout the Bible to love others more than we love ourselves.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests
but each of you to the interests of the others”.
Philippians 2:3-4
To structure one’s day or time is first of all to provide a routine for family living. When beginning to evaluate the activities and flow of your children’s day with the idea that routine is needed, Moms first need to look at their own lives to see their own need for routine. Part 1 discusses the four areas in every Mom’s life that needs to have routine. Ideas for managing the home and chores are given. Part 2 looks at ways to add structure and routine to your children’s day which will help develop their character as well. Adding structure to your children’s day also teaches them that boundaries work to teach them self-control. At the end of Pt. 2, Carla shows how a family’s individual routines can be blended into one that works for all members of the family.
Structuring Your Child’s Day Pt. 1 MP3
Structuring Your Child’s Day Pt. 1 PDF
Leave a Reply