Joey and Carla Link
September 11, 2024
“Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
Each one of our children have a “bent”, a way to go that God has given them, to be who He wants them to be, to do what He wants them to do. A child’s ‘bent’, represents their passions, desires, talents, skills and so forth that will eventually define who they will become. When we train our kids according to “the way they should go,” or their “bent”, they will recognize how God made them and will see where they fit into His plan.
The word bent means “someone who is determined to take a specific course of action, a knack or aptitude for doing something.”
Temperaments play into this as well, as your kid’s character is part of their ‘bent’ too. A major part of their character is determined by the strengths and weaknesses of their temperament. Is your child a strong-willed Choleric, a laid back Phlegmatic, a task-oriented Melancholy, or an energetic, out-going and fun-loving Sanguine?
Along with the other parts of their ‘bent’, how your child’s God-given character is shown in their actions is up to them. You can teach them, train them, and guide them, yet ultimately your child, as he/she grows and matures will decide for themselves how to use all of what goes into their ‘bent’. God put the foundation of their bent in place, and now it is up to them to decide what to do with it. It would be more effective and have life-long powerful results if we praised and encouraged our kids for using the strengths of their character bent well.
Did your child with the self-focused Melancholy temperament demonstrate kindness to her annoying sibling by sharing something of hers that her sister wanted to play with today? Did your impatient child with the Sanguine temperament wait at the door for you to get your coat on before going out to the car? Did your laid-back child with the Phlegmatic temperament ask you if there was anything he could do to help make dinner? Did your child with the demanding Choleric temperament agree to things you asked him to do today without arguing with you? These actions that reflect the character in your child’s heart deserve your praise and admiration.
Our youngest daughter is an encourager. Even on her worst days, she finds ways to encourage the people around her. Whenever I need a pick-me-up, I call Amy. Even now, I try to remember to thank her for her gift of encouragement, which is a strength of the Sanguine temperament. Our son with the Choleric temperament is good in crisis. When Joey was hospitalized a few years ago from a heart attack, I left him in charge, working with the medical team to get Joey to the right hospital for the surgery he needed among other things. I knew he would excel at getting all the details seen to with excellence. Our middle daughter is compassionate. She has a son with developmental setbacks and the way she interacts and cares for him is inspiring. We encourage you to look for ways to encourage your kids in their character bent. If you have a spouse, talk to him/her about the things you see in each of your kids (6 yrs and up) that reflect the way God wants us to live and be intentional about encouraging your kids in them.
Parents are good at praising and encouraging their kids when they do something good, especially when it comes to grades in school, and music or sports achievements, to name a few. We encourage you to be just as good or better at encouraging each of your kids’ bents.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.”
I Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)
If you want to learn more about Temperaments and your child’s natural bent, consider joining our upcoming Temperament Zoom class. Click here for more info!
Leave a Reply