Dana Morgan
July 31, 2024
What does your family schedule say about your priorities? Loving our children requires good stewardship of our time and resources. Childhood can never be recaptured. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make my three boys little again. As we raised three social and active sons, we quickly realized that busyness could easily break down the family identity that we had worked hard to establish. How do you decide if you should say yes, or no or maybe?
We filtered these things by asking 10 questions about the activity in question. As you filter the activity, it will become clear if the answer will be yes or no. You may have different questions you would ask in your family. We decided on these questions because they correlated with our family identity.
The 10 Step Family Activity Filter:
1. How long of a commitment is it? Is it one evening or 6 weeks? Obviously the longer the commitment, the more consideration we need to give to this decision. Also, does it have an end date? We have a rule to not agree to something that does not have an end in sight as you often get caught in a black hole you feel like you can’t get out of.
2. How many commitments or activities does this child/Mom/Dad already have? How many other activities will this family member participate in this year and how much time do they take?
3. Is the rest of our family in order? If the wheels of the proverbial family bus are falling off…this may not be the time to say yes to an outside activity. Don’t be afraid to take the time to get your family in order. Are your kids characterized by obeying you? If not, if they are too busy with activities and such, you won’t have time to work on it.
4. How will this affect Mom and Dad’s relationship? If Mom and Dad are going in opposite directions to get their kids where they need to go and don’t have time for each other, the answer is no. Your marriage is more important than any outside activity.
5. Will this interfere with our nightly family dinner? Family dinner was part of our family identity. We could adjust the time of dinner but we could not miss dinner.
6. How will this activity/commitment affect the other members of the family? Can all of the family members be available to support this person in their activity? Again, part of our family identity was to support one another so one person’s activity was really a commitment for the whole family.
7. Can we fulfill this need through a different activity that would require less time away from home/family?
8. Is there someone else who could do this if I don’t? Is God, guilt or man prompting me? Sometimes we do things or continue doing things out of guilt or peer pressure. Take the time to really consider if this is what God is calling you to in this season.
9. Does this move us in the direction God is leading our family? Will this replenish us or deplete us?
10. Is this for their holiness or their happiness? Whether it is Mom or Dad’s commitments or your children’s activities, busyness can quickly overtake even the most intentional families. The next time you are faced with saying yes or no, consider how that yes or no will affect the whole family. Choose wisely.
These 10 steps kept our family on track and we hope it does yours as well.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
James 1:5
Dana and Jeff have been married for 31 years and have raised 3 sons who are all married. They are smitten with their two, nearly 2 yr. old grandchildren (from 2 different sons!). Jeff and Dana are as passionate about young families today as they were 20 years ago. They have taught GFI parenting classes for over 20 years. Dana leads a Moms Group where she encourages moms in their walk with the Lord and in their high calling of motherhood. Jeff and Dana love spending time enjoying the Ozark mountains at their farmhouse and look forward to teaching their grandchildren about the Lord’s beautiful creation. The Morgan’s reside in Springfield, MO.
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